"The Well of St Idwas" by Bee Richards

[Ceri Shaw]

Mary fell in love with the rambling old house at first sight. Situated in a remote valley in Mid Wales the house offered views of the ancient Welsh hills, which surrounded the hollow. There was just enough acreage to open the stud farm for which she and Bob had worked so hard. The sun shone on the latticed windows, which gave the house an almost benign air. The outbuildings with a little alteration would be suitable for stables. The young estate agent heaved a sigh of relief at the completed sale.

The house had been the manor of a large estate, but time and successive taxes had forced the previous generations of owners to sell off some of the land. The old house and the few acres, which were left, had gone for a song. No one had lived there for years. According to local legend, that Mary and Bob had discounted, there were some supernatural manifestations, which had taken place there. The place even had its’ own stone covered ‘holy well’ dedicated to some saint or other.

Mary could not understand why she had so much difficulty in finding help for the house. Finally she hired Mrs Jones youngest – a slow girl, but eager to learn. It was the opinion of the neighbours that “no one in their right mind” would work up there, except Bessie, and “she was not the full shilling anyway.”

It did not take long for the couple to move into the house, but the horses had kicked hysterically on moving them into their quarter, eyes blazing and making a hell of a noise. It was beyond the bounds of possibility to stable them in such a state. They had to be moved to the fields temporarily.

Mary had decided to explore the surrounding countryside, and crossed the bridge over the stream below the old house. The road in front of her wound around the hillside and suddenly she came across a completely isolated lych gate, built of the same stone as the old house. Almost mesmerised Mary walked through the gate. Instinctively she knew what lay around the next bend.

The dream like quality continued as she opened the familiar creaky, nailed oak door with its’ huge latch. She noticed that the holes were still inside the doorway which had housed the huge oak beam to keep intruders away in the troubled times in which she lived. The church should have been lit with candles. What were these strange lanterns. Gradually the dream like state became more intense, almost real.

It was with a sense of total knowledge she looked at the flaky lime washed surface of the church walls. Dragging her hand across the surface she realised that they still retained the texture of the hair shirt she wore as a penitent. The old Figure of Doom hung in painted suspension on the church wall. Phillip remembered how it used to Frighten her.

Henry, Phillipa’s husband had taken with him nearly all the young and middle-aged men of the estate with him in his fanatical zeal for the crusades, only leaving enough of his tenants to run his estate. He had been gone for over a year, and she had heard nothing.

Brother John and the lady Phillipa, who was a devout member of the church, met on a regular basis, through the religious offices which the good looking young priest was supposed to minister to the older, but still beautiful Phillipa. In Henry’s absence Phillip and his property, was left to the management of the church.

It was impossible for Brother John to deny his sexual attraction to the lovely Phillipa. He had asked to be relieved of his ministry to her giving another excuse as a pretext. He prayed fervently that the love of his Lord would again become greater than his love for the lady.

During confessions John admitted to be sexually attracted to Phillipa although she had given him no encouragement and the gratification of his desire had not taken place. As a penance flagellation and fasting were the penalties imposed upon him. After a period of self inflicted punishment, the brothers’ blood spattered habit and his emaciated appearance were the outward signs of his penitence. However, his mind was not purged of his desire and love for her. He made another request for his contact with Phillipa to be ended, but he was granted no remission. The advice he received was to withstand temptation both physically and mentally.

News came that the brutal Henry was returning from his expedition. He had treated his wife with cruelty and humiliation. She was his chattel – his property, and as such compelled to carry out his will. This included sexual practices which were, in the deep-seated feelings of the devout Phillipa, perverted.

It had been a relief to Phillipa when her husband, giving the appearance of piety, fanatically adopted the Crusades for his own personal aims. This was the opportunity for his sadistic nature to be unleashed to its full and cruel extent. The Bishop had received instructions, unknown to Phillipa to watch her lest she should ‘stray’. These circumstances had led to the young priest, John being commanded by the monastery of St. Idwas to become her father confessor and spiritual counsellor. No one could have forseen what would follow this decision.

After a short while the sexually charged affair between John and Phillipa began. Their passions could not be quenched by threats of hell and damnation; they embarked upon an inevitable, although tragic course, which they both could not avoid.

Discovery was something, which they hoped to prevent, having knowledge of the vicious repercussions, which would inevitably follow if they were discovered. John resorted to bloody self-punishment and unable to contend with his enormous guilt, vowed it would never again take place. This process only seemed to increase his desire for her.

Phillipa wrestled with her conscience, fervently praying that the temptation be resisted, but seemingly unable to avoid the feelings, which John aroused in her.

Mary’s reverie was interrupted at the opening of the church door, a fussy little woman entered. She introduced herself as the church cleaner. Mary informed her she had just purchased the property at the bottom of the hill.

The woman’s reaction seemed a little strange “it’s been empty a long time, since the last owner moved out a few years ago.” She became a little chattier and told Mary some of the history of the Church. The original building had been there before Norman times and that it was added to at various periods since.

The house, she told Mary had been a lot larger. The last owner had carried out a large reconstruction, but suddenly moved, leaving the place deserted.

Mary was curious about the old stone covered well at the bottom of the hill near to the stream, the lady was a little cautious and said she knew nothing about it. She abruptly left her and started the work of cleaning the church. Mary thought her reaction a little odd but dismissed it, as rather eccentric and forgot about it, in her curiosity to explore the church.

On clearing the attic of the old house Mary found an old book written about the church and the house. Opening its musty pages she read the quaint legends about the supernatural happening associated with the house and the church. According to legend a nun walked from room to room saying her beads and seemingly searching for something. Upon further reading she came across the story of the Holy Well at the side of the hill. The ancient “beehive” style building had housed a blind hermit who had become famous for his healing powers.

The old illustration showed a dry walled, domed building. Inside the structure was just enough room for the hermit who it was said lived there? Steps led down to a deep pool, fed by a spring from the bank of the stream. It appeared much the same in the present time, except one side was covered with turf, which had grown over the roof from the bank above.

Mary felt compelled to pay another visit to the church of St Idwas. Situated at the back of the church was a squint a hole within the wall, where the nuns who were in an closed order were allowed to watch Mass being said.. The service was familiar to Philllipa who missed Brother John in his usual position.

Her maidservant Rhianon noticed the sexual tension between the deeply religious Phillipa and the young priest. Jealously the girl had followed the lady to her clandestine trysts with the young priest. She vowed to keep the liaison to herself until the time was right to divulge the affair.

The great lady had never experienced the tenderness, which the erotic quality of the young priest had brought to their lovemaking. Initially, he had been a virgin but with their mutual attraction; the intensity and energy, which he employed, brought an almost mystical quality to their union. As he gained more experience in the art of love making the passion between them grew. As time passed Phillipa loved him spiritually as well as physically.

The pangs of guilt and self-punishment became an inadequate solution to their affair. In fact it served only to enhance the excitement and danger, which they found together. They spoke about getting away form their situation, but there was nowhere for them to run to, no alleviation of the vows which they had both taken. Both of them were were irrevocably bound, John to the Church and Phillipa to her husband. Mortal sin, which could result in excommunication and hell, terrified them. Their need for human and physical love not recognised by each of the institution to which they were bound. Each knew that upon the return of Henry the affair could not continue. Suicide was not an option for their immortal souls would be condemned to damnation for eternity.

Continuing her jealous watch over the couple at the mass Rhianon observed the stiffened back of Phillipa and the body language of John, expressing the mounting sexual passion between them. The Lord Henry would soon return, and the girl felt that self-advancement would result through the betrayal of the Lady Phillipa and Brother John.

Rhianon started a whispering campaign among the servants, which soon reached the ears of the Abbott. As nothing was proven the flagellation and punishment, which John inflicted upon himself, became ever more bloody, in an attempt to restrain his lust and undertake penance by mortifying the flesh.

News came that Henry was returning to his estates. Phillipa knowing the nature of her husband anticipated this with dread. Messages of his return became more frequent, as he neared his home. This served only to increase her terror of his wrath. Henry’s expedition to the Holy Land had cost a great deal of his fortune. The fame and adulation which he craved had not materialised. Neither had the fabled treasure of Jerusalem been found. Phillipa anticipated and feared the viciousness of his frustration if she and the Brother were found to have lied about the affair.

Upon his return form the Holy Land Henry sought Phillipa in his usual clumsy and brutal fashion. Phillipa had never experienced sexual fulfilment until her affair with John. There was no culmination for Phillipa, only Henry reaching his usual grunting,sweaty climax. During Henry’s bruising attacks upon her, Phillipa reasoned silently that her only benefit from this degradation had been her children. Her coldness pierced and incensed Henry who found his sexual control over her had become non-existent. What? He questioned was the cause of this change.

Rhianon slyly expressed doubt to her Master about Phillipa’s conduct with the result that Henry became enraged that his property had been defiled. He started to act in a pious fashion, attending church and observing the body language between the couple. His anger increased and in a final sadistic frenzy Henry seized the brother from his cell and incarcerated in the rat infested cell in the Manor.

Mary decided to clear some rubbish from the cellar of the house. It was damp and cold. Bob had rigged up a light down her. It was she found, hard to concentrate. The seemed a strange atmosphere, as if something was lurking in the shadows. She thought she heard something or someone moving around. There was nothing there. Suddenly something leapt into the air. Mary heaved a sigh of relief, it was the cat.

Again, something moved. Hysterically she called for Bob but there was no reply. The temperature in the cellar was freezing. The light, which Bob had rigged up for her, flickered and everything went black. When her eyes became used to the gloom she could see a tall bearded man standing in the corner of the cellar. It was Henry.

Phillipa was forced to be present at the questioning of John, which Henry carried out with his usual malevolence. The agonising screams of John who ultimately confessed his passion for Phillipa enraged Henry and developed his sadistic practices to new heights of cruelty. John’s agony now caused Phillipa to beg for the now toothless and bloodied priest to be spared. She promised Henry to carry out his wishes and do everything he demanded of her. His final satisfaction at her humiliation had been gratified, his revenge upon them both had been carried out and ‘honour’ satisfied.

Phillipa would be banished to a convent. John, the priest Henry decided would never look upon another female and he would ensure that he would never again feel or gratify his lust. He blinded John and castrated him. Throwing him into the stream in the hope he would be drowned. A villager found him crawling on his hands and knees, screaming his penitence, in agony..

The horrific process came almost as a relief to John. He could no longer see his lover, and the sexual tide, which had enveloped him, was no longer a possibility. In his mind he truly loved her, he always would..

Villagers took pity on the ghastly remains of this human being. Secretly they provided him with food and water, terrified they would be discovered by Henry. John became a hermit, living in the stone ‘beehive’ structure, which covered the well over. He felt almost a sense of peace, and certainly one of atonement. His mutilation, his penance, and his punishment becoming a symbol in his warped thinking of justice and the purity, which he had always sought. His fame as a healer spread and many miracles it was said were performed at the well of St. Idwas.

Phillipa spent hours on her own, repentant and praying for forgiveness. The cruelty to her former lover had left her mentally castrated as the young Monk had been physically. Henry took Rhianon as his mistress.

Phillipa committed herself finally to a convent. Henry refused to allow her to see her children. The humiliation of this once beautiful woman was terrible. Her shaven head, and her black habit covered her beauty. She prayed and fasted constantly, becoming a gaunt lifeless image of her former self. The hair shirt, which she was forced to wear causing her constant pain and biting into her flesh.

The revenge of Henry was not complete. Upon hearing that John was venerated as a healer, his jealousy again manifested itself. He flew again into his madness. John was mysteriously found dead in the hermitage, his scarred and broken flesh bearing witness to more cruelty. Finally the news reached Phillipa became demented with grief and her crazed dishevelled figure became an object of ridicule to the sisters who thought it god’s punishment.

She left the convent and made her way to the spring, visiting for the last time time the places where she and her lover met. She could not live with her guilt over the cruel fate of John any longer. Grief and regret overwhelmed her. She heard the rushing water of the spring pouring into the pool. Casting off her veil she entered the hermitage and surveyed the piteous signs of John’s meagre existence, which remained. The simple wooden crucifix, which she had given him, had somehow survived, provided a further reminder in her crazed state, of the once beautiful human being he had been.

Slowly she walked down the steps to the icy water, her black habit billowing about her. The once beautiful hair, grey and almost shroud-like floated around her. Deliberately and with no emotion she entered the water, sinking slowly allowing herself to feel the icy peace and the void death would bring her.

Mary did not feel any horror at Phillipa’s experience, only pity. She hoped that the two tortured souls who in life could find no forgiveness would find comfort in the house, which she was prepared to share with them.

by Beryl Richards