Welsh Humor

Comment

Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on September 5, 2009 at 3:36pm

Byn (Bynbrynman)Tavarn Ty Elise, you left out Evans Above, he was the vicar from the Rhondda

Comment by Byn (Bynbrynman)Tavarn Ty Elise on September 5, 2009 at 6:14am

Oh, I nearly forgot, for those of you who unfortunately have no connaissance of 'Yr Iaith y Nefoedd' (The Language of Heaven), 'menyw' is Welsh for 'woman'.

Comment by Byn (Bynbrynman)Tavarn Ty Elise on September 5, 2009 at 5:53am

In case you didn't get it: 18 months (y)ear and a half.

Comment by Byn (Bynbrynman)Tavarn Ty Elise on September 5, 2009 at 5:51am

What about names; I knew a man who got into a fight over his best friend's wife, whom he eventually married, it was a hard fight which caused him to have a piece of his ear bitten off, ever since he's been referred to as Dai (not his real name) 18 months. For some of these, you have to have a valley accent, e.g. these words are pronounced the same: ear; year; here and hear.
Another famous one, I've already mentioned elsewhere, was the civic reception in Hoovers when Dafydd Wigley, as he was a local councillor and Hoover executive, but relatively new to the town, had the job of introducing everybody. When it was the Mayor's turn Dafydd introduced him to the big boss from America, Mr Felix Mansager, as Mr Mayor, Alderman Charles Bungalow, having heard it so often, he didn't realise that it inferred to his having nothing upstairs, his real name was Jones. This was at the time they were debating having gondolas on Cyfarthfa boating lake, one of the councillors got up and said, let's have two and breed them. I guarantee that these stories are true.

Comment by Byn (Bynbrynman)Tavarn Ty Elise on September 5, 2009 at 5:35am

Some Welsh speakers feeling hungry after a rugby match and a few drinks, went in to a restaurant, as they sat at the table the waiter came around and asked them if they wanted a menu, no, they said, we'll eat first and have the menyw later.

Comment by Tam Ryan on September 4, 2009 at 11:18pm

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch

On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales.

When they reached
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwylll lantysiliogogoch
they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress, 'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?'

The girl leaned over and said,


'Burrr … gurrr … king'

Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on September 2, 2009 at 1:42am

Myfanwy is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to Ianto, her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
Ianto replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on August 19, 2009 at 12:26am

Carmarthen Police reports finding a man's body in the river Towy,
just west of the Llandussyl Bridge.
The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on dildo,
and a “Gordon Brown for PM” T-shirt. He also had a cucumber stuffed up his backside.
The police removed the Gordon Brown t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary
embarrassment.
The Carmarthen Police DO care!

Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on August 15, 2009 at 1:43am

Gordon Brown called Alastair Darling into his office one day & said, 'Alastair , I have a great idea!?
We are going to go all out to win back Middle England '.
'Good idea PM, how will we go about it?' said Darling.
'Well' said Brown 'we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour coats, some proper wellies, a stick & a flat cap, Oh & a Labrador .
Then we'll really look the part.. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in Much Something or other & we'll show we really enjoy the countryside, ........... Oh! & remember not to mention the Hunting With Dogs Act'
'Right PM' said
Darling. So a few days later, all kitted out & with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from London .
Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for & found a lovely country pub &, with the dog, went in & up to the bar.
'Good evening Landlord, two pints of you best ale, from the wood please' said Brown
'Good evening, Prime Minister' said the landlord, 'two pints of best it is, coming up'
Brown & Darling stood leaning on the bar contemplating new taxes, nodding now &
again to those who came in for a drink, whilst the dog lay quietly at their feet.
As they drank their beer they chatted about how heart-rending it was that pensioners were being imprisoned for not paying the council tax. All of a sudden the door from the adjacent bar opened & in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He
walked up to the Labrador lifted its tail & looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders & walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came a wizened farmer who followed the same procedure, to the bewilderment of Brown & Darling. People of all ages & gender followed suit over the next hour.
Eventually, unable to stand it any longer, Darling called the landlord over. 'Tell me' said Darling, 'Why did all those people come in & look under the dog's
tail like that??? Is it an old country custom?
'Good Lord no,' said the landlord. 'It's just that someone has told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two arseholes'

Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on August 15, 2009 at 1:19am

SOME BLONDE JOKES

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

A blonde pushes her BMW into a garage in the High Street. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, he gets it idling smoothly.
She says, 'What’s the crack?'
He replies, 'Just shit in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'Well......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'

Two blondes living in Swansea were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... London or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Well, can you see London ?????'

• First
• Previous
• Next
• Last