Welsh Humor

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Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on August 13, 2009 at 12:37am

Dafydd walks into his Queens in Cardiff, and to his surprise he does not see anyone he recognises. He takes a seat next to a guy who is furiously reading a textbook and taking notes... After ordering a beer he turns to the guy studying and asks, "What are you studying?” The other guy looks up and says, " I am a student at the University here, and I am majoring in psychology. I am learning about deductive reasoning right now, I have a test on it tomorrow." Dafydd asks, "Deductive reasoning? What is that?"
The student says, "Let me give you an example...Do you own a lawnmower Dafydd answers "Yes"...The student says, "OK, using deductive reasoning, since you own a lawnmower, I can deduce you have a lawn to mow, I would also deduce you own a home, you most likely have children, so I can deduce that you are married, and from that, using deductive reasoning, I can say you are a heterosexual."
Dafydd is amazed and says, "WOW! Just from the fact I own a lawnmower you know all of that?" "Yep" said the student, "That is deductive reasoning." The student then packs up his things and leaves.
Before long, another man sits down at the bar...He turns to Dafydd who has now been there a while and asks "Are you from around here?”Dafydd looks at him and says "Well, no, actually I am a student at the University here, I am majoring in deductive reasoning." The new arrival looks puzzled, and says "Deductive reasoning? What is that?" so Dafydd says, "Let me give you an example! Do you own a lawnmower?" The new guy replies "No." Dafydd looks at him and says, "What are you, a queer?"

Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on August 8, 2009 at 1:32am

Dai walks into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
"Well," said a customer, "I never saw anything as peculiar as that!"
"What's so peculiar about it?" the bartender said. "Marged, his wife sent him out for a jar of olives."

Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on August 6, 2009 at 1:25am

Mr Jones, the local preacher was talking to the Bethel sunday school group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven!" Mari fach cried out. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the preacher. "Dead!" yelled Ianto.

Comment by Dilwyn Jeffreys Phillips on August 6, 2009 at 1:22am

Wales
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and the Antarctic down there will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to an unusually shaped land mass and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Wales, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets, beaches and rolling hills. The people from Wales are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be great sportsmen, singers and poets. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, you`ve given them everything, a perfect land God? You said there would be balance!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the neighbours I’m giving them

Comment by Dafydd Crwynwr on May 24, 2009 at 12:00pm

A Roman general led his legion into Wales. As they were marching there was an uproar from the top of the nearby hill. When the General looked up at the peak, he saw a Welshman screaming down at them and banging on his shield. The General, thinking to make quick the execution of this rebel, sent 5 men up to kill him. As the 5 soldiers ran up the hill, the Welshman ran over the ridge out of sight. The legionaires follow him. The General could overhear the din of battle and smiled as he was pleased with his men. However, it was the blood-drenched Welshman who returned.
Furious, the General sent 15 men this time. As the soldiers got near him, again the Welshman ran over the hilltop and out of view. The soldiers followed. Again the General could hear the din of battle. Again the Welshman came back into view with no legionaires returning.
Infuriated beyond belief, the General sent 50 men to take out this Welshman. Like before the Welshman ran out of view with the legionaires following behind. Once more the General listened to the din of battle, but this time a lone legionaire returned crawling across the ridge, though the battle on the other side of the hill continued.
The injured legionaire shouted down to the General, "Call a retreat General! We've been had, it's a trap! There are two of them!!"

Comment by David Thomas Jones on May 10, 2009 at 6:55am

This is a video of Rod Gilbert a Welsh comedian performing a routine about his luggage on Australian TV.
Rod Gilbert's Luggage routine

Comment by Paul Durden on March 26, 2009 at 7:42pm

Four people walk into a pub, One Welsh, One Irish, One Scotch, One English, The landlord say's What's this some kind of a fucking joke.

Comment by Ceri Shaw on March 19, 2009 at 2:35pm

Hi Janice....Great stuff....any chance you can repost it in videos so we can feature it?

Comment by Tam Ryan on March 19, 2009 at 1:38pm

Amazing Janice! Thank you for posting the video below!

Comment by Janice on March 19, 2009 at 11:50am

"Extreme Shepherding"... done in Wales:

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