Welsh Humor

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Comment by Emyr on March 18, 2009 at 2:01pm

Subject: Rugby Supporter.




Rugby season upon us again thought you may like this amusing story:

A family of England supporters head out shopping, for Barbours, in Richmond, one Saturday before Christmas.
While in a sport shop, the son picks up a Welsh rugby shirt and says to his sister, 'I've decided I'm going to be a Welsh
supporter and I'd like this shirt for my Christmas present!'

The sister is outraged at this; promptly whacks him round the head and says, 'Go talk to your mother.'
Off goes the little lad, with Welsh shirt in hand and finds his mother.
'Mum'
'Yes, son?'
'I've decided I'm going to be a Welsh supporter and I'd like this shirt for my Christmas present.'
The mother is outraged at this; promptly whacks him round the head and says, 'Go talk to your father.'
Off he goes with the Welsh shirt in hand and finds his father.
'Dad.'

'Yes, son?'
'I've given this a lot of thought; I've watched the style of rugby they play and I've decided I'm going to be a Welsh rugby supporter and I would like this Welsh shirt for my Christmas present.'
The father is outraged at this; promptly whacks his son round the head and says:-
'No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!'

About half an hour later, they are all back in the car heading home.
The father turns to the son and says: 'Son, I hope you've learned an important lesson today?'
The son turns to his father and says: 'Yes, Father, I have'.
Father says: 'Good son, and what is it?'
The son replies: 'I've only been a Welsh supporter for an hour and I already hate you English b****ards!

Comment by Janice on March 17, 2009 at 9:41pm

A Welshman, and a Baptist Preacher boarded a plane together and are seated beside one another. After take off the flight attendant came around taking drink orders. Of course the Welshman promptly ordered a whiskey. When she returned and handed the drink to the Welshman, she asked the Baptist Preacher if he was sure he did not want a drink. He replied in disgust, 'I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.' The Welshman promptly handed the glass back to the flight attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"

Comment by phil_D on March 9, 2009 at 7:19pm

Ha, nice one Ian... My "mates" in England used to tell it different... "What's the difference between a sheep and a Skoda?".. " I'ts more embarrasing getting out of the back of a Skoda"... ha.

Comment by Ian Price on March 9, 2009 at 3:50pm

What's the difference between a Jehovah's Witness and a Skoda.

You can shut the door on a Jehovah.

Comment by Roguefemme on February 16, 2009 at 9:02am

I put this in my blog, but though it was worth cross-posting:

I was recently informed that the slang term "taffy" for the Welsh has its origins in an insulting poem started by (shockingly) the English. So since I am a Cymruphile and have an evil sense of humour, I decided to do my bit to defend poor old Taffy:


Taffy was a Welshman,
Johnny was just English,
Taffy's loved of all the girls,
while John can only wish!

Taffy was a Welshman
he ne'er stole beef nor ale,
Johnny lied 'cause he was sore
that Taffy kicked his tail!

Taffy was a Welshman
a master of poet's art
Taffy came to court me,
and soon he won my heart!

Taffy is a Welshman,
Taff's my very dear
I kept Taffy warm last night,
while John cried in his beer!

Comment by Tam Ryan on February 4, 2009 at 12:23pm

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando , thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American .
He then travelled all across America, Europe, England, Japan, New Zealand.
In every church he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it.

The American decided to travel to Wales to see if the Welsh had the same phone.
He arrived at Llanelli in Carmarthenshire, Wales and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '40p per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call.
Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Wales now, son - it's a local call'.

Comment by Paul Durden on January 24, 2009 at 5:08pm

How does one make a nun pregnant..? Fuck her....

Comment by Paul Durden on January 18, 2009 at 6:07pm

What is the difference between The Welsh National Eisteddfod and a tub of Yogurt.? The tub of Yogurt containes a living culture.

Comment by Brian y Tarw Llwyd on December 7, 2008 at 5:05pm

May apologies in advance if you have already read the public service announcement... just wanted to make sure you didn't miss it... doing my job as a good, health conscious citizen.

To my friends who enjoy a glass of beverage alcohol... And those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we
would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E.Coli)
-bacterial find in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine or beer (or tequila,
rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a
purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop,

Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink alcohol and talk stupid, than to drink
water and be full of shit .

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing
it as a public service.

Comment by phil_D on December 7, 2008 at 8:23am

When to Vegas Last year. In the corner of the casino there was a golden phone...with a banner that read.." Speak to God..cost of call $1000000". On the way back from USA we called in at Paris. At the Louvre there was another Golden phone.."Speak to God...cost of call E10000"

After a great holiday we got back to Ton Pentre...in the Rhondda. Went to our local library for new books and...they had installed a golden phone!! The banner read..." Speak to God...cost of call £0.05". Well...it is a local call from here...:)

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