Welsh Humor

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Comment by Gareth Williams on June 16, 2008 at 3:22am

Iolo from Pen LLyn is on a rave holiday in Ibiza, relaxing by the bar on a beach when a gorgeous, tanned blonde 34dd walks up to the bar. Iolo buys her a drink and they get chatting. Turns out she's a scientist working on a project to learn more about male sexual ability, prowess and dimensions.
Iolo says 'tell me, what are your findings so far?'
She says 'well, North American native tribesmen are the most well endowed and Greeks are the most satisfying lovers'
Dissapointed, Iolo asks ' So, lets say the Welsh, for axample, where would they rate?'
She replies 'Oh somewhere above the English and just below Lithuanian men, I'm sorry I DID'NT QUITE CATCH YOUR NAME?'
IOLO GOES ' TONTO, TONTO POPADOPALUS AT YOUR SERVICE!

Comment by Gareth Williams on June 16, 2008 at 3:02am

Little Williams is on guard duty at Sweeny camp and he's passing the guardroom on his roving perimeter patrol and finds the English guard commander snoring away. Lil Willi takes advantage and makes a brew, when the phone goes and its a very irrate Major General who is highly annoyed that his staff car place has been taken up by a puma helicopter ' Wili says, 'well what the f*** do you want me to do about it, Im not a pilot'
The General goes ' DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Willi says 'Havent a clue. D'ya know who I am?
General goes "No'
Willi says 'Good, NOW F*** OFF'

Comment by Gareth Williams on June 16, 2008 at 2:50am

The Royal Welsh were on exercise with two very traditional and very English line regiments. The three moustached and scary looking Regimental Sgt Majors were having a pre exercise chat on the parade square.
RSM Brown of the 'Hampshires' says my boys are as tough as you like, look at this, he shouts at Private Jennings and tells him to put full kit on and run the assaut course twice. Jennings does it no sweat.
RSM Withers of the 'Essexe's' says thats f*** all, watch this, 'Rogerson, put an extra 800 rounds of 7.62 in your pack and do the course three times AND swim that lake over there. Rogerson does it but is in bits afterwards.
RSM Jones says, 'very impressive, but watch this' He says 'Fusilier Williams, get over here with a full pack and an extra 3000 rounds, run up and down that hill and do the assault course four times!'
At which point Williams replies to the RSM ' You can f*** RIGHT OFF SIR!
RSM Jones proudly turns to the other two and says 'there, hard as f***.' They both agree

Comment by Ceri Shaw on June 12, 2008 at 11:48pm

Three Englishman are sitting in a pub when a Welshman walks in and goes over to the bar.

One of the English guys says to the others, 'Let's start a fight with the Welsh guy over there.'

His mate says, 'Wait, we don't want to be arrested. Let's make him start the fight.'

The third English guy says, 'Hang on. I know how to do it.'

He goes over to the Welshman and says, 'St David was a drooling idiot.'


The Welshman calmly replied, 'You don't say!' and carried on drinking his beer.

The second Englishman took his turn and said , 'St David was a whinging sissy who wore a dress!'


The Welshman calmly replied, 'Really? you don't say!' and carried on drinking his beer.

The third Englishman approached the bar with a knowing grin confident he could get the fight started, 'St David was an Englishman!' he shouted.

The Welshman replied, calmly, 'So your mates were just saying.'

Comment by Tam Ryan on June 11, 2008 at 6:47pm

Three babies

Three men are sitting in the maternity ward. One is an Englishman, one a Welshman and the other a Jamaican. Suddenly the doctor comes and says,

“Gentlemen, your wives have all had little boys! However in the confusion we may have mixed the babies up. Could you come to the nursery to help us identify them?"

The Welshman ran to the nursery, picked up a dark-skinned baby with dreadlocks and said,

“This boy is mine.”

The surprised doctor said, “But this child looks Jamaican.”

“True,” said the Welshman “but there is a fifty fifty chance that one of the others is English, and I’m not taking the risk.”

Game Day in Cardiff.
This is the way the English dress.

Comment by Huw Davies on June 11, 2008 at 3:44pm

At the National Art Gallery in New York husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them totally confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willie.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in the predominately white, patriarchal society.
"In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, a Welshman approached the couple and said,

"Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"
"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.
"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied.
"In fact, there's no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Welsh coalminers. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."

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